Describe what you're experiencing

Describe what you're experiencing

Pencil and paperOnline interactive
Overview
Using this Resource
Connecting to the Curriculum
Marking Student Responses
Working with Students
Further Resources
This task is about writing a description using details from an image.
boy at a race track
Put yourself in the image and describe what you are experiencing. Use details such as clothing, body language, and details from all of the image.
You could also describe sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.

Question 2Change answer

a)  Brainstorm your ideas in the space below.

Question 2Change answer

b)  Use your brainstorm to write a draft of your description (a paragraph).

Question 2Change answer

c)  Write your description (a paragraph).
Task administration: 
This task can be used with pencil and paper or online.
  • Explain to students what a description (vignette) is and discuss the elements that make for good writing. Make clear the difference between "showing" and "telling".
  • Make sure students can see the image.
  • Tell the students, as well as writing on the board, that they CANNOT use "The girl", "The boy", "The man", "The woman" etc. This will help students to be more descriptive in their writing, as it encourages them to "show" rather than "tell".
  • Explain the difference between showing and telling and why you want them to focus on showing in this exercise (explained in the Working with Students section).
  • Give students 25-40 minutes to draft and construct their vignettes.
Level:
4
Curriculum info: 
Description of task: 
Students create a vignette with a focus on writing pieces that are brief, descriptive, and set in one point in time. They should not be concerned with plot. As the emphasis is on quality rather than quantity, students need to show a controlled and elegant skill in writing and use figurative language to 'show' rather than 'tell'.
Curriculum Links: 

We assess vignettes using an amalgamation of the New Zealand Curriculum,and the Literacy Learning Progressions.

For Year 7:

  • students should carefully craft text by revising and editing; checking that the text meets its purpose and is likely to engage the intended audience, and proofread the text to check the grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
  • students should construct text that demonstrates an understanding and appreciation of purpose and audience through deliberate choice of content, language, and text form. Students at Year 7 should organise their text using an appropriate, coherent, and effective structure, they may also convey and sustain personal voice where appropriate.
  • by using a wide range of language features, including metaphors and rhetorical questions, fluently and with control to create meaning and command attention. Also by using an increasing vocabulary to communicate precise meaning, and a wide range of text conventions, including grammatical and spelling conventions, appropriately, effectively, and with accuracy.
  • using a variety of sentence structures, beginnings, and lengths for effect. using complex sentences that are grammatically correct.
  • by using basic punctuation that is mostly correct and by attempting some complex punctuation such as, using apostrophes for possession, commas for clauses, or semicolons. 
  • students should develop, communicate, and sustain increasingly sophisticated ideas, information, and understandings. Their ideas should show a depth of thought and an awareness of a range of interpretations.
For Year 8:

  • students should carefully craft text by revising and editing; checking that the text meets its purpose and is likely to engage the intended audience, and proofread the text to check the grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
  • students should construct text that demonstrates an understanding and appreciation of purpose and audience through deliberate choice of content, language, and text form. Students at Year 8 should organise their text using an appropriate, coherent, and effective structure, they may also convey and sustain personal voice where appropriate.
  • by using a wide range of language features, including metaphors and rhetorical questions, coherently, fluently, and with control to create meaning and command attention. Also by using an increasing vocabulary to communicate precise meaning, and a wide range of text conventions, including grammatical and spelling conventions, appropriately, effectively and with accuracy.
  • by using a variety of sentence structures, beginnings, and lengths for effect, and by using complex sentences that are grammatically correct.
  • by using basic punctuation correctly and attempting some complex punctuation such as semicolons, colons, and parentheses.
  • students should develop, communicate, and sustain sophisticated ideas, information and understandings. Their ideas should show perception, depth of thought, and an awareness of a range of interpretations.

As the image is a text:
students should use their personal knowledge, experiences, and interpretation skills to make meaning by understanding increasingly sophisticated ideas. They should make connections by exploring ideas within the text, and recognise that there may be more than one reading available within a text. They should also make and support inferences from texts independently.

Learning Progression Frameworks
This resource can provide evidence of learning associated with within the Writing Learning Progressions Frameworks.
Read more about the Learning Progressions Frameworks.
Answers/responses: 

NOTE: There is no single correct interpretation of a text, which includes images. They can be interpreted at different levels and in different ways. However, students need to make logical connections between the text and their interpretation of its meaning. Student learning is presented and discussed in the section Diagnostic and formative information below.

Teaching and learning: 

Vignette Resources for the English ARB
These resources ask students from Years 3 to 8 to write a description (a vignette), using the provided image (either a photograph or fictional illustration) to focus on writing a short and descriptive piece of creative writing, that shows controlled skill and use of literary techniques. Students should "show" not "tell" by using figurative language to "paint a picture" for the reader.
A vignette can be as long as a short chapter in a book, or a short story. But for the purpose of creative writing exercises, vignettes can be as short as a single paragraph and describe one point in time (which is what these resources focus students on doing). Students should not be concerned with plot. As the emphasis is on quality rather than quantity, students need to show a controlled and elegant skill in writing.
NOTE: Although we are trying to encourage the students to write prose, a vignette can also be written as a poem, and this is an acceptable form to use for the assessment.

Purpose
As explained above the emphasis is on quality rather than quantity in writing a vignette. This makes them an excellent writing tool to use with students. In writing a vignette students must consider how every idea, word, sentence, and literary technique is used for effect and to convey meaning to their appropriate audience. 
These skills are all essential for use in writing of any length. Vignettes allow students to develop these skills that can be applied to longer forms of writing. They can be much more effective than having students write pages of text, or stories with chronological narrative structures, because they must be carefully crafted to show elegance and skill in writing.

Important Features
As the vignette should be a description of one point in time, students should use literary techniques such as metaphors, similes, personification, alliteration, repetition, rhyme, and sensory details, to build an image for the reader. This should be done by using some of the basic visual descriptors from the image, such as: facial features, expressions, clothing, body posture, movement and the relation of the character to other elements within the image.
Students should use what's in the image to "show not tell". This will help them to paint a picture in the reader's mind. 

Using Visual Descriptors and Figurative Language to "Show not Tell"
To describe the scene, students should use descriptors from the image to "show not tell". So instead of saying, "The boy is 10", you could describe the boy as "just tall enough to lean with his arms on top of the fence", and explain how "his sweatshirt pulled tight as he lifted his arms", and that he was "just old enough to watch the car race unsupervised on the inside of the fence".
Students could use sensory details to explain how the boy is experiencing the scene shown in the picture. How the autumn leaves crunched under his feet (sound/touch), the early morning sun breaking through the clouds and the branches of the leafless trees (sight), the damp smell of dirt as the car raced around the track (smell), and that he is looking across to the next field at the towering rugby stand dwarfing the men controlling the small cars (sight).
Explain to students that we use different styles of writing for different purposes and that vignettes are a form of creative writing and this is why we are getting them to focus on "showing" not "telling". Explain the difference between "showing" and "telling". "Telling" is using literal language in stating information, like you would do in describing a missing person: He is 10 years old, has brown hair, green eyes, a blue shirt etc. "Showing" is using figurative language to create an experience for the reader.

Flowers for James
Voices in the Park

Recommended Viewing (for teachers)
The film "Babel" (2006) directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu and wrtiiten by Guillermo Arriaga, connects the lives of various characters in Japan, Mexico, Morocco, and the United Sates through vignettes.
Recommended Reading (for teachers)
"One Hundred Years of Solitude" (1967) by Gabriel Garcia Marques is full of great character vignettes.
John Steinbeck's "The Grapes of Wrath" (1939) has a famous (two page) vignette in chapter three of a turtle crossing the road. This is one of several vignettes between chapters that comment symbolically on the main action.
"Rapture" by Anton Chekhov (1888) is a humorous vignette of Russian life in Chekhov's time.
"Germans at Meat" from "In a German Pension" (1911) by Katherine Mansfield, is a composition of satirical vignettes.