A school of fish
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Overview
Using this Resource
Connecting to the Curriculum
Marking Student Responses
Working with Students
Further Resources
This task is about using adjectives to help create a poem.
Watch how amazing this school of fish is:
Write a poem about this school of fish.
Task administration:
This task can be completed online only.
This resource is one of three similar resources that require students to think about the order they put adjectives in. All have a shared partner task at the end, where a partner is asked to comment on the writing and their meaning making.
In this resource and in the resource, Describing an aurora, students create meaning within poetry. In the third resource, Creating an advertisement, students create meaning within an advertisement.
While the primary focus of this resource is on the ordering of adjectives, other areas to work on in written language have emerged as part of the trial of this resource, for example, the structural and language features of poetic writing, and punctuation.
Level:
4
Curriculum info:
Key Competencies:
Keywords:
Description of task:
Students make choices about which adjectives to use to create a poem about a school of fish. A video clip provides the stimulus for this task.
Curriculum Links:
This resource can be used to help to identify students’ ability to create texts to meet the writing demands of the New Zealand Curriculum.
Links to the Literacy Learning Progressions for Writing:
This resource helps to identify students’ ability to:
- generate content that is relevant to the task
- demonstrate knowledge of how language works
as described in the Literacy Learning Progressions for Writing at: http://www.literacyprogressions.tki.org.nz/The-Structure-of-the-Progressions.
Learning Progression Frameworks
This resource can provide evidence of learning associated with within the Writing Learning Progressions Frameworks.
Read more about the Learning Progressions Frameworks.Answers/responses:
| Ordering of adjectives | Easy |
| Sustained and correct use of punctuation between adjectives | Very difficult |
| Other areas of written language that emerged were: | |
| Use of structural features appropriate to poetic context | Very difficult |
| Use of language features appropriate to poetic context | Very difficult |
Results based on a trial sample of 50 Year 7 and 8 students.
Teaching and learning:
This resource was trialled by 50 Year 7 and 8 students. Please note that in the student responses given below, their work has not been corrected.
In this resource, the ordering of categories of adjectives is modelled for students. The first task requires them to select adjectives from a number of categories. The adjectives are given in drop-down menus in the categories of number, opinion, size, age, colour, and material. Students choose one adjective from each category.
In this resource, the ordering of categories of adjectives is modelled for students. The first task requires them to select adjectives from a number of categories. The adjectives are given in drop-down menus in the categories of number, opinion, size, age, colour, and material. Students choose one adjective from each category.
Ordering of adjectives
Students decided on the final order of their adjectives, according to what sounded best.
When the trial students created the first line of their poem, this is what we noticed:
- About a third of trial students kept the adjectives in the same category order as they had chosen them. For example, a student who chose these adjectives: thousands / clever / tiny / baby / silvery / slippery,wrote the first line of their poem as: Thousands of fish, clever fish, tiny fish, baby fish, silvery fish, slippery fish .
- About a third of trial students changed the order of their adjectives when they came to write the first line of their poem. For example, a student who chose these adjectives: gazillions / united / miniscule / adult / silvery / sparkling, wrote the first line of their poem as: Gazillions of united sparkling silvery miniscule adult fish swim in a circle.
- About a tenth of trial students changed their word choice and the order of their adjectives when they came to write the first line of their poem. For example, a student who chose these adjectives: trillions / clever / small / young / silvery / slippery, wrote the first line of their poem as: Trillions of young, small, silvery fish are united as they glisten and swirl around in the depths of the ocean.
Use of punctuation
About half the students created the first line of a poem using some punctuation appropriately between the adjectives. For example, this student used commas appropriately but not spacing: As trillions of clever, tiny, young, silvery, sparkling fish swim round in circles.
This student separated the adjectives with commas appropriately but not the phrasing within the line: In the huge sea millions of small, silvery, young fish glisten as a huge United school.
Across the tasks, no student sustained the correct use of punctuation.
When students created a second line for their poem, this is what we noticed:
Use of structural features appropriate to context
Few trial students began their second line on a new line; many used a new sentence, implying a second line; and in some instances, the second line was implied in the phrasing. For example, when this student’s first line was: The trillions of united small silvery sparkling adult fish, their second line was a continuation of the first, with no punctuation separating the adjectives or the phrases: The trillions of united small silvery sparkling adult fish swim as a massive school.
Use of language features appropriate to context
As we noticed in the trial of the similar resource Describing an aurora, when students were asked to complete their poem, most wrote in prose, using narrative language features rather than the more condensed language typical of poetic writing.
Some trial students used condensed language, even though their punctuation use compromised the meaning-making of their work. For example: Thousands of united, fast young, miniscule fish as golden as the night can be, swim side by side glistening under the magical sea.
Most trial students used language features more appropriate to narrative structures. For example: Trillions of young, small, silvery fish are united as they glisten and swirl around in the depths of the ocean. The small fish look like a tornado swirling, in an enormous school they dive up and down in the deep blue sea.
The shared task
In the shared task at the end, some partners suggested structural and/or language feature improvements that could be made. For example:
Use of language features appropriate to context
As we noticed in the trial of the similar resource Describing an aurora, when students were asked to complete their poem, most wrote in prose, using narrative language features rather than the more condensed language typical of poetic writing.
Some trial students used condensed language, even though their punctuation use compromised the meaning-making of their work. For example: Thousands of united, fast young, miniscule fish as golden as the night can be, swim side by side glistening under the magical sea.
Most trial students used language features more appropriate to narrative structures. For example: Trillions of young, small, silvery fish are united as they glisten and swirl around in the depths of the ocean. The small fish look like a tornado swirling, in an enormous school they dive up and down in the deep blue sea.
The shared task
In the shared task at the end, some partners suggested structural and/or language feature improvements that could be made. For example:
- put in different punctuation rather then using the same one again
- ad comers [add commas] and not have random 's' in the middle.
- Don't put capital letters after commas.
- Keep in the same tense don't switch from present to past
- add some more words in beetween the adjectives
Such feedback can provide teachers with ideas for their next steps with students.
Next steps:
Use of punctuation
In a list of adjectives describing the same noun, commas are used to separate the adjectives that are coordinating (adjectives that have equal weight in describing the noun). You can tell if two adjectives are coordinating by:
1 - swapping them around. Does the sentence still make sense?
2 - putting ‘and’ between them. Does the sentence still make sense?
If the answer is ‘yes’, the adjectives are coordinating and need a comma between them.
Test this out with the sentence ‘The velvety night sky was awash with colour.’
1 – Swap the adjectives around: ‘The night velvety sky was awash with colour.’ Does this sound right? No – so no comma is needed between ‘velvety’ and ‘night’.
2 – Put ‘and’ between the adjectives: ‘The velvety and night sky was awash with colour.’ Does this sound right? No – so no comma is needed.
Test it out again with another sentence: ‘The dancing flickering lights streaked across the sky.’
1 – Swap the adjectives around: ‘The flickering dancing lights streaked across the sky.’ Does this sound right? Yes – so a comma is needed between ‘dancing’ and ‘flickering’.
2 – Put ‘and’ between the adjectives: ‘The dancing and flickering lights streaked across the sky.’ Does this sound right? Yes – so a comma is needed.